"you're ugly, and plain"
i tell her
i scream at the top of my lungs
"fat, idiot, loser, poser,"
shes sobbing as i spit out verbal poison, her body jolts, and shakes
"i hate you, who could love you?"
i screech at her, pumped full of adrenaline
"slut, attention whore, wannabe."
she knows its true, i can see acceptance in her blood shot eyes,
clear salty pools of sorrow brim her eyes as i raise my fist,
she shatters,
my hand bleeds,
"honey, are you okay in there?"
"we need a new mirror."
Rumors fly by,
I stand still.
Under my aching bones and fatigued flesh,
I am in another galaxy
I claw for air, scraping against star dust
I can breathe clearly.
The sun blazes a furious flame,
I have the chills
I can still feel the butterflies swimming in my stomach
I can still feel your arms around my waist
I can still see your sly smirk
I can still burn when I think of you
I can still hear your jokes
Im blind
Im deaf
Im numb
Im an (oxy)moron
because im too stupid to get over you.
i never gave consent,
i am haunted by your whispers,
and the dirty bruises you gave me,
and the tears streaming left marks,
your whispers echo,
their killing me fast
i scream and panic
i awake in english,
shaken
no one knows
but i do
please,
quit raping my head,
your in my darkest thoughts.
i never gave consent
you and i were real
it pains me
we were real
i mulled it over
and in a blind fire i called us
f a k e
you disregarded the fact that i was in a moment of weakness
and pried me
a p a r t
and eventually agreed that we were not real
and i realized you really did feel this way
and i didn't..
and i fell to
p i e c e s
and i stumbled across you again
i was glad to see what you were up to
but you were picking a my old habits
to the world
my same old stupid
h a b i t s
and in a blind rage i said things
and when the fog lifted
it was all over
and we were no longer real
i was lost and alone, and again
i missed how real we used to be
then
four in the morning again an i can't hardly breathe
and again, it's all the same thing.
same, bland, boring routine.
pretty pink pills,
the thought of which bring chills
pretty pink, pink, pills.
shiny rusty razor blade
of death i am unafraid
somebody, call for first aid
i've kept it a secret
if i told you could you keep it
i'm in love with a demon
he tells me sweet things that lull me to sleep
and he wipes the blood off my cheeks when i weep
he's breaking me can't you see
i swore i told him to leave me
i think he kissed my eyes, and now i can't see
i'm blind to all but my emotions, lost at sea
black and blue misery
this relations
i'll admit
it was my idea but i
had never imagined the terms
to which we've come to
i'll admit i said
we should
but no way did i think
you'd love her more
i'll admit i almost jumped
off the roof when i left outside
i'll admit
it was
all my own
idea
but that doesn't mean,
i'm over us,
and that your peeling at the scar
and it's bleeding
but who cares
it was my idea
I swear on my last dime, that I am different people. I know that I sound crazy, but it's what I am, I am everything, bundled into one.
My anxiety prevents me from walking sometimes; most times; all the time. She keeps my limbs heavy, and likes to lay in bed, not thinking about much at all, but the thought of ending being tired, forever. I swear she pulls me back and holds my tongue and makes sure I don't speak, and so I don't. She is deeply in love with stress but shuts herself away trying desperately to forget about him.
My suicidal side is a whole new person completely. She rarely leaves the secrecy of my insides. She resides in my though
I shout louder than I know when I hear my mother,
Calling me or, rather calling my brother,
As much as I'd hate to admit,
She has brought me to this.
Out of hate and out of spite
I slit pretend wrists every night.
I slice the paper with arms so crudely drawn,
As I whimper stretch and yawn.
My dad is no better,
Thinking about him gets me under the weather,
My substitute asked me once if I knew him
And I pretended not to hear him.
And if it wasn't bad enough having the same last name,
He works in the same district as I and it brings unwanted fame.
"Do you know Mr John?" They'll politely ask.
And I will shamefully go about the task,
The task
"you're ugly, and plain"
i tell her
i scream at the top of my lungs
"fat, idiot, loser, poser,"
shes sobbing as i spit out verbal poison, her body jolts, and shakes
"i hate you, who could love you?"
i screech at her, pumped full of adrenaline
"slut, attention whore, wannabe."
she knows its true, i can see acceptance in her blood shot eyes,
clear salty pools of sorrow brim her eyes as i raise my fist,
she shatters,
my hand bleeds,
"honey, are you okay in there?"
"we need a new mirror."
Rumors fly by,
I stand still.
Under my aching bones and fatigued flesh,
I am in another galaxy
I claw for air, scraping against star dust
I can breathe clearly.
The sun blazes a furious flame,
I have the chills
I can still feel the butterflies swimming in my stomach
I can still feel your arms around my waist
I can still see your sly smirk
I can still burn when I think of you
I can still hear your jokes
Im blind
Im deaf
Im numb
Im an (oxy)moron
because im too stupid to get over you.
i never gave consent,
i am haunted by your whispers,
and the dirty bruises you gave me,
and the tears streaming left marks,
your whispers echo,
their killing me fast
i scream and panic
i awake in english,
shaken
no one knows
but i do
please,
quit raping my head,
your in my darkest thoughts.
i never gave consent
you and i were real
it pains me
we were real
i mulled it over
and in a blind fire i called us
f a k e
you disregarded the fact that i was in a moment of weakness
and pried me
a p a r t
and eventually agreed that we were not real
and i realized you really did feel this way
and i didn't..
and i fell to
p i e c e s
and i stumbled across you again
i was glad to see what you were up to
but you were picking a my old habits
to the world
my same old stupid
h a b i t s
and in a blind rage i said things
and when the fog lifted
it was all over
and we were no longer real
i was lost and alone, and again
i missed how real we used to be
then
four in the morning again an i can't hardly breathe
and again, it's all the same thing.
same, bland, boring routine.
pretty pink pills,
the thought of which bring chills
pretty pink, pink, pills.
shiny rusty razor blade
of death i am unafraid
somebody, call for first aid
i've kept it a secret
if i told you could you keep it
i'm in love with a demon
he tells me sweet things that lull me to sleep
and he wipes the blood off my cheeks when i weep
he's breaking me can't you see
i swore i told him to leave me
i think he kissed my eyes, and now i can't see
i'm blind to all but my emotions, lost at sea
black and blue misery
this relations
i'll admit
it was my idea but i
had never imagined the terms
to which we've come to
i'll admit i said
we should
but no way did i think
you'd love her more
i'll admit i almost jumped
off the roof when i left outside
i'll admit
it was
all my own
idea
but that doesn't mean,
i'm over us,
and that your peeling at the scar
and it's bleeding
but who cares
it was my idea
I swear on my last dime, that I am different people. I know that I sound crazy, but it's what I am, I am everything, bundled into one.
My anxiety prevents me from walking sometimes; most times; all the time. She keeps my limbs heavy, and likes to lay in bed, not thinking about much at all, but the thought of ending being tired, forever. I swear she pulls me back and holds my tongue and makes sure I don't speak, and so I don't. She is deeply in love with stress but shuts herself away trying desperately to forget about him.
My suicidal side is a whole new person completely. She rarely leaves the secrecy of my insides. She resides in my though
I shout louder than I know when I hear my mother,
Calling me or, rather calling my brother,
As much as I'd hate to admit,
She has brought me to this.
Out of hate and out of spite
I slit pretend wrists every night.
I slice the paper with arms so crudely drawn,
As I whimper stretch and yawn.
My dad is no better,
Thinking about him gets me under the weather,
My substitute asked me once if I knew him
And I pretended not to hear him.
And if it wasn't bad enough having the same last name,
He works in the same district as I and it brings unwanted fame.
"Do you know Mr John?" They'll politely ask.
And I will shamefully go about the task,
The task
Hiya it's been a long time so I'll make this as short as possible sdagjsdfgadf
http://vocaroo.com/i/s00biTQNPdhN
//other places you can find me://
Skype: sissyprincess1001
arts: http://www.jotleaf.com/Sissy/arts/
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